


All the King's Knights And the Other King's Sorcerer

by Sam_Lee



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Doesn't Know How To Secretly Plot, Arthur is a little shit, Child Abuse, Explicit Abuse, F/M, Fucked Up, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, M/M, Merlin won't take said shit, Plots to Kill Uther, Prince Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Prince Merlin (Merlin), Young Merlin (Merlin), abused merlin, confusing signals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:42:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23528599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sam_Lee/pseuds/Sam_Lee
Summary: In the land of myth, there is a boy named Merlin. You've heard the stories, but what if a nasty, evil king had heard the prophecy of a sorcerer, not only born with magic, but stronger than any magic before him? Would the king kill him or use him? If he kills him, how will he find him? If he uses him, how will he gain the boy's trust?
Relationships: Merlin/Edwin Muirden
Comments: 9
Kudos: 21





	1. In the Land of Myth

**Author's Note:**

> **PLEASE READ**  
> **IMPORTANT**
> 
> Okay, so before you read, you should know that I have changed a lot in the story of Merlin. This story will get really bad. It will get really fucked up. I'm not spoiling but I had trouble writing this. I'm not done with it so I can't even say that this will end happily. I will update the tags as I go. PLEASE READ THEM WITH EVERY UPDATE. I will remind you on the posts that really change the ball game. There will be no in-chapter warnings.

Merlin shot up in his bedroll at the sound of screaming. Before he could even stand his mother ran in, grabbed him, and shoved him into the cupboard. She looked panicked and was shaking. She pressed a finger over her lips and softly shut the door. Merlin flinched as he heard people slam into his home. He heard his mother's frightened breathing.

"What are you doing this for? What have we done to deserve this?!" His mother demanded. How could she be so brave? Merlin trembled in his hiding spot. He heard the clank of metal boots, tauntingly slow, as they entered.

"I have interrogated a boy by the name of William. He said that the sorcerer lives here. A boy, no older than 9 winters. Where is he?" A man demanded. He's nine and he had magic. What did this person want with him? Merlin curiously cracked the cupboard. He saw the man had a red cloak with a gold dragon.

"He isn't here. I sent him to study under a friend of mine, his name is Gaius." Hunith said. Merlin swallowed as the man scoffed and shook his head.

"Search the place." The man ordered after a long moment of silence. Merlin gasped as his mother grabbed the man and pulled him.

"Merlin! Run!" His mother cried out. He flung the doors of the cupboard as he watched the man run a sword through her. Merlin didn't have time to understand what happened. "Run!" Hunith cried out as Merlin bolted for the door. He ducked between the legs of the man in the doorway and ran towards the safety of his King. He had to be able to help. Merlin had never ran so fast or so long in his life. He ducked through the market place, ducked under the guard at the gates and slammed into the doors of the throne room, shoving them open. The room of people jumped to their feet. Merlin forced himself to stand.

"Guards!" The man in the biggest chair called. No, he wasn't an attacker. Two men grabbed him by the arms before he could force the words past the lump in his throat.

"Ealdor is being attacked!" He cried out. His lungs burned his legs ached and the weight of what happened was finally dropping on him.

"Wait!" The King commanded right as the men in armor began dragging him away. They stopped and turned. "What did you say, boy?" The King said. Merlin tried to control his breathing.

"Ealdor… they're- someone's attacking it! They had red cloaks and a golden dragon on it! They have my best friend! My mom is-" Merlin said trying to choke back tears, but he couldn't. The sobs forced out of him. The horror on the faces in front of him only served to make it all feel real.

"Muirden dispatch guards to Ealdor, send our fastest horses. Investigate it, we must be sure. Morgause, have a room prepared for out new guest, council, dismissed." The King said. Merlin still sobbing, dangling from the hands of the guards that had him. "For gods sake! Let him go!" The King demanded. Merlin was carefully set down. The adults from around the table walked past him. "What is your name, my boy?" The King asked suddenly beside him. Merlin looked up and saw he kneeling beside him, his eyes were full of pride. Had Merlin done the right thing.

"M- Mer- Merlin Drýlic." He pushed out. The gleam in King Cenred's eyes brightened and Merlin felt hope. The King held out his hand and pulled him to his feet.

"You must be tired. Come, tonight you may sleep in my chambers, tomorrow, we will receive word from Ealdor. You have my word, I will do everything to keep you safe." King Cenred said. Merlin closed his eyes and blackness consumed him. He woke up to someone over him.

"... ġehǣle méðnesse.(Heal fatigue)" Someone said as Merlin opened his eyes. Merlin opened his eyes just in time to see the flash of blue in his eyes. The person over him was holding his hands on his legs. Merlin paused as he saw the scars on one half of his face.

"I'm Merlin." Merlin said. He knew better than to be rude. The man nodded, his face carefully blank. His mother would kill him if he didn't.

"I am Edwin Muirden. How old are you, Merlin?" The person asked. Merlin sat up and sighed. He thought about but only just got the number before having to fight flinching at the memory of the man.

"I'm nine winters old." Merlin swallowed. He didn't want to be rude, so he forced the memory away. "How old are you?" Merlin asked. Maybe he can teach him about magic.

"I am fourteen." He said. Merlin's jaw dropped. Edwin seemed to be surprised at Merlin's reaction.

"Your mom lets you do magic at fourteen? My mom said I can't use my magic until I'm one hundred!" Merlin said. The boy got a dark look on his face. Merlin felt worried. "You okay?" Merlin asked. Edwin's face softened as he blinked hard. Edwin turned to look at him again.

"You can use magic?" Edwin asked. Merlin knew he was avoiding the question but he didn't want to push away a potential friend. Will is a great friend but what would it be like to have two friends? Plus, someone else to know his secret?

"Yeah, I can show you but you have to promise not to tell!" Merlin warned. Edwin looked at Merlin with an intense stare that made it feel like an oath.

"I promise I will never do anything to get you in trouble." Edwin said. Merlin nodded and took a deep breath. He cupped his hands and he the words bubble on his tongue. Words of a language he didn't know.

"Estmwre ancume unhoppiaþhoppiġaþ. (Water, come and dance)." Merlin let the magic flow from his hands into the space between them. Merlin opened his hands and water formed into a person, and began dancing like he saw at ballrooms. Edwin looked shocked as the little person danced across Merlin's palm. Felt the thoughts and memories that he was trying to shove away slam into him. The person on his palm suddenly evaporated. Merlin let his hands fall.

"My mother is dead, isn't she?" Merlin asked after a long moment of silence. Edwin's look of shock and panic told Merlin all he needed to know. A door opened but Merlin didn't hear it. "King Cenred sent you to investigate. She would have asked if it was me. She would have come here. But she's not here. Which means she's dead. Mom is dead." Merlin said feeling tears in his eyes. The door slammed and Merlin's head snapped to see King Cenred.

"I ordered you not to tell him." King Cenred said harshly. Merlin looked at him wide eyed as Edwin looked down. Merlin couldn't let him get in trouble for this. Edwin hadn't told him. He just knew.

"No! I figured… I figured it out." Merlin said forcing the tears down so he could speak clearly. King Cenred seemed to melt at hearing that. King Cenred looked down then nodded. With a final push, Merlin was able to force what had happened to his mother out of his mind.

"You are smarter than I thought." King Cenred said to him. Merlin smiled. "Would you like to learn how to defend yourself?" King Cenred asked. Merlin furrowed his brow in thought, and then nodded.

"When?" Merlin asked. King Cenred grabbed a chair and sat it next to Merlin before sitting down. King Cenred took a deep breath and leaned towards Merlin.

"Well, first, what are your talents?" King Cenred asked lightly. Merlin looked at Edwin who nodded. Merlin felt like they wanted something specific but he didn't know what they were wanting.

"I can run for a long time and really fast. I am really good at throwing stuff!" Merlin said after a moment of thinking. Edwin placed a comforting hand on his leg.

"You can tell him, Merlin. He needs to know so he can protect you. He won't hurt you." Edwin said. Merlin instantly knew he was talking about magic. Merlin looked at the King to see his reaction. There was nothing… mean on his face. It almost looked open like he was waiting to see if Merlin would tell him.

"I… I have magic." Merlin said. At first the King didn't react then, an almost exaggerated, realization hit him. Edwin's face went blank. The King silently went to the door and opened it just enough to tell someone to get… something. The King looked sad when he turned back to Merlin.

"Tell me about what happened before your trip here." The King said. Merlin nodded and took a deep breath before describing it as much as he could without crying. The King looked at him gravely. "My boy, I will make you my ward, if you would wish." The King said as a servant came in and handed him a piece of red cloth.

"I have one condition. That you would act as my son, but only in duty, if you did not want anything else. But only if you can tell me whether or not this is a cloak of one that attacked your village." The King said. Merlin slowly nodded. The King unfolded the cloth and on it was the golden dragon. Merlin's body froze and nodded.

"That looks exactly the same!" Merlin said. So they knew who did it now? Where they locked up? Were they thrown into a place where they could never hurt anyone again? The King nodded and told the servant to take it away. They bowed and did so.

"Merlin, you, for the public, will be my son. You can never tell anyone differently. Thank you for you honestly. Your schooling will start tomorrow. Your training will start the following day and everyone will know you as Emrys." King Cenred said. Merlin nodded and the man stormed out. Edwin went to stand but Merlin grabbed him.

"Will you stay?" Merlin asked. Edwin paused for a moment before nodding. Edwin had food brought to him. He was glad a sleep took him.

A man in the cloak that had killed his mother stood in front of him. He had a sword drawn. Was he about to kill the angry man? Just scare him off?

Merlin woke up to Edwin pulling his curtains open. It was a lot different in a castle than in Ealdor. For one, Merlin hated leaving the bed. But loved that he didn't have chores. Edwin was like his best friend. He would receive schooling every day for three to four hours, then training in magic and weapons would alternate days.

He was treated as though he had been in the castle his whole life. He still wasn't allowed to tell everyone about his powers, but he was used to that. Three weeks later, during sword training a boy older than him was watching him. Emrys found quickly he didn't have time for friends like back in Ealdor. Apart from Edwin. But this blonde boy was different. He had seen him ride in.

"Sire, you must focus." The man beside him urged. Emrys nodded and reset his stance. Then the boy walked over. He looked older than Emrys. He looked mean and rude. "May I help you?" The knight training him said to the boy. The boy crossed his arms, his eyes still locked on Emrys.

"You're too small for a boy of twelve." The boy said. Emrys ignored him and continued working on his swing. The boy huffed. "I said: You are too small for a boy of twelve!" The boy said again. Emrys didn't respond. He was training. The boy went to grab him, as if on instinct, he put his sword to the boy's throat. The boy stopped moving. He looked scared.

"Arthur! Guards!" An angry adult called. The angry man looked familiar, but Merlin couldn't place him. King Cenred was right beside him. Merlin's hand wasn't shaking. Merlin felt a surge of something he really liked inside himself. Cenred stopped the angry man from touching him.

"Emrys! Put your sword down! What is the meaning of this?" The King demanded. Merlin sighed and gave his sword to the knight beside him.

"I am training and he tried to touch me! He's lucky I didn't take his head off! I. Was. Training." Emrys said, glaring at the boy. The boy was openly wearing shock on his face. The King took a deep breath but looked like he understood as he turned to the angry man.

"King Uther, I apologize. My son is very intense about his own training. He refuses to let anyone interrupt it." The King said. Uther seemed shocked and then turned to the King.

"He is small for a boy of twelve." King Uther said. The King smirked and placed a proud hand on Merlin's shoulders.

"Emrys is nine. He insisted on starting training early." The King said. Uther's eyes turned hard as he looked at the boy. The boy was staring at Emrys in shock. When he met Uther's eyes, he bowed his head. Merlin felt confused and almost bad as the King Uther began to lead his son away. Emrys gasped as he saw Uther's cloak. King Cenred instantly grabbed Merlin's hands as he raised them.

"Emrys! No. You mustn't!" The King said. Merlin slowly calmed down with Cenred's help. "Take him to Edwin, Edwin will explain." The King said. The knight nodded and picked Emrys up. That man wore the symbol of the men that tore his life from him. The knight took Emrys to Edwin. Edwin grabbed him, and felt the anger rolling off of him.

"Emrys, tell me what happened." Edwin said as he pulled Emrys close and waved the knight away. They were in the garden. Emrys felt tingling under his skin. His magic wanted loose.

"Those people that burned Ealdor are here! Cenred is doing nothing! He won't let me do anything!" Emrys yelled. Edwin's face turned from concerned to understanding. Edwin sighed.

"There is a way these things must be dealt with. Take a deep breath." Edwin said. Emrys forced himself to take a deep breath and felt his anger drain. "If you want, I can take you to see how these things are dealt with." Edwin offered. Emrys thought for a moment then nodded. He wanted to see justice. Edwin led him to the throne room.

"Muirden, why have you brought Emrys?" King Cenred asked. Edwin went to answer but Merlin did instead. He took a step forward and drew everyone's eyes to him. He felt so small. Even the boy was there.

"I wish to learn about the courts and how you rule in the hope that it would help me rule, one day." Emrys said. He was reusing what one of his teachers had told him. It had always made the King smirk. And so it did, yet again. He nodded.

"Very well, stand beside me, my son, you shall see how we deal with threats to Essetir ." The King said. Merlin turned his face to stone and nodded before standing slightly behind the King. King Uther, once again, glared at the boy. The boy glared at the floor. "Bring forward, the evidence." The King said. A servant handed the King the cloth. The King unraveled it and let it fall at Uther's feet.

"Your knights attacked a village on my land with no grounds." The King said coldly. Uther looked shocked as he stared at the cloak that matched his own. The boy looked shocked and then looked at King Uther.

"I gave no such order!" King Uther said after a moment of silence. The King stood up and swelled to yell but a knight stepped forward.

"I did." The knight said. His voice shook Merlin. "There was a boy in Ealdor. A boy prophesied to destroy the five kingdoms. I took it upon myself to destroy everything there. It was evil I could not stand by and let it grow. If my king denounces my actions I will take any punishment served." The man said. King Uther looked shocked at him. Merlin knew that voice. It was the voice of the man who killed his mom.

"If you do not denounce him, we will be at war!" The King's voice thundered. Merlin wished to have that kind of sway in his voice one day. That kind of power. King Uther looked to be fighting something in his own head. The boy looked uneasy.

"Your actions are not condoned by Camelot." King Uther said after a long pause. The King nodded and guards grabbed the knight and dragged him away. Merlin felt a lot safer. But then the King turned to Edwin and waved Merlin toward him. Edwin lead Merlin back to his room. Edwin shut his door and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Merl- Emrys. You have made a mistake. While you did good afterwards and have possibly lessened your punishment, King Cenred will still punish you. You have to try with everything you have not to flinch. Okay?" Edwin asked. Emr- Merlin nodded. Emrys was worried. He didn't like spankings or lectures. It was probably holding a sword to that boy's throat. He didn't understand what had come over him, but wanted that feeling again. Edwin left minutes before Cenred came in.

"My boy." Cenred said softly as he shut the door. "There is one thing I want you to understand. Royals cannot afford mistakes, the consequences of a mistake are always higher because Royals are to a higher standard. Know that I discipline you out of love, but that these actions I must take are of your own doing." Cenred said pulling out a whip. Emrys felt confused. Cenred let all but the handle fall to the floor.

"Take off your shirt and face the table." Cenred said. Emrys felt fear and he couldn't bring himself to move. "Now!" Cenred ordered in a booming voice. Emrys flinched before slowly pulling off his shirt. His mom had told him that it didn't hurt the horses he saw people using it on. But Will had said they hurt, bad. He hoped his mom was right and Will had just been being mean.

(Not writing that because Merlin is nine. I mean, I have the ability, but not without reliving some things that I really can't deal with right now. Not to mention he is nine, trust me it's nothing but getting whipped. However writing out each one would be totally effed.) 

His mom had been wrong. Cenred was not safe. Edwin was cleaning his back as he cried. Flinching had only gotten him more. Edwin was right and he quickly learned to not flinch. It started with five, but by the time it was over, it had to have been over eleven.

He wasn't allowed to leave his room the day after but he heard cheering and by the end of that day Uther and the boy had left. Emrys was glad. His life fell back into a routine. The older he got, the harder Cenred was on him, but it had become Merlin's normal.


	2. Late Knighs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is me reminding you: This story will get really bad. It will get really fucked up. I'm not spoiling but I had trouble writing this. I'm not done with it so I can't even say that this will end happily. I will update the tags as I go. PLEASE READ THEM WITH EVERY UPDATE. I will remind you on the posts that really change the ball game. There will be no in-chapter warnings.
> 
> ALSO, JUST SO YOU KNOW  
> Merlin bounces between Merlin and Emrys depending on his mental state. Kind of like his red and blue neckerchief in the show.

The following years Merlin had begun calling Cenred as if the King was his father, as he grew to understand all of what Cenred had done for him. His relationship with Edwin had grown ever stronger. When Merlin was fifteen his father summoned him to the throne room.

"Emrys, come there is something we must discuss." The King had said as soon as Merlin had entered. It was only him and Edwin in the room. Emrys nodded and approached his father. "Emrys, as you know it was Camelot that destroyed Ealdor." Cenred started. Emrys tensed and squeezed his hands at the name. He gave a sharp nod. "They are growing more and more bold with their transgressions against Essetir . We are launching a plan against Camelot. We intend to bring Camelot to its knees and make it fall." The King said. Merlin felt… frustrated. They would pay for all of their crimes. But Emrys didn't see why they couldn't just talk to them again. Surely Uther would be open for talks if it was to avoid a war.

"After we take over Camelot, you will be placed on it's throne with anyone you wish at your side." The King added. Merlin smirked but felt something trying to tug it down. "Edwin will be sent there in three hours to infect and then cure King Uther's ward. We mean to discredit their physician so that Edwin can kill Uther. If Edwin is successful we will then send you to offer any assistance to his son Arthur, in becoming King. You will then gain his trust and turn him against Uther's ward. Then you send word to me when you have him weak and docile. We will march our armies then." King Cenred said. Merlin nodded and forced a smile. Surely, Cenred wasn't stooping so low.

"I will do what needs to be done, my lord." Merlin said. King Cenred smiled at him proudly then waved his hand to dismiss them both. Edwin followed Emrys all the way back to Merlin's chambers. Emrys barely got into his room before his thoughts clouded his face. Edwin was right there to pull him into his arms. "I don't want you to go! They hate magic, you would be burned at the stake!" Merlin said, holding on to Edwin. Edwin had told him of the plan days ago, so Merlin had time to prepare, but that didn'tmake this any easier. Merlin held him tight.

"Sshh, I know. I am sorry. But once Uther is out of the way I will be by your side once more and then not even Cenred could order me away." Edwin said. Merlin pulled back and kissed Edwin. Edwin seemed surprised. Merlin took a step back after a moment. Had he gone too far? Edwin stared at him with owl eyes for another beat before looking down. "Emrys, while I do have feelings of that nature for you, and you are my prince, I must say that you shouldn't look for that in me. You could have anyone. A beautiful princess. A handsome prince. Someone better than me." Edwin said. Merlin closed his eyes and righted his fist.

"You are handsome!" Merlin said as frustration ripped out of him. When he opened his eyes Edwin covered the scared half of his face and looked into the mirror in Merlin's room. He nodded. Merlin jerked him away from the mirror. Edwin looked surprised at Emrys's use of force. Merlin closed his hand around the hand covering his face. Edwin blinked and lowered it.

"You are handsome. Who cares what anyone else says! Or thinks! If I were king I'd make it a decree, if it would make you see! I love the way you look!" Merlin said running a hand down his scars, openly staring like he did when he thought Edwin wasn't looking. He loved those scars. They screamed liar at anyone who ever thought Edwin was a coward. Edwin surged forward and kissed Emrys. Merlin gasped and pulled Merlin closer. It was a rushed kiss because Edwin had to leave but Emrys felt the love in it all the same. Merlin hugged him on the steps of the castle before he left. He turned and went to go up the steps of the castle as a man caught his eye. The man was smirking at him. Merlin walked over to him.

"Hello, any reason why you are watching me?" Emrys asked. He internally winced at how entitled he sounded. The man with dark hair raised an eyebrow, his brown eyes nearly glimmering. Emrys instantly knew he was a wild card. The man chuckled and shrugged.

"Can a man not admire beauty? You may be a prince but not even you have power over someone's thoughts." The man said. Merlin scoffed and shook his head, if only this man knew what he was speaking to. Beauty? No one had ever described him as beautiful. Most who knew what he looked like never described him as anything but sharp and fast. Those who described him, but didn't know what he looked like or didn't realize it was him, used the words 'monster' or 'cold'.

"Me?" Merlin asked dumbfounded by how open this man was. Surely it was not obvious he was not attracted to women, so this man was taking a huge risk to him being insulted. Emrys might just act insulted anyway.

"With a face like yours? There is no answer aside from royalty. You are not nearly old enough to be a king, answer: you are a prince." The man said. Then Merlin scoffed again. This man didn't actually think he was the prince, he was just flirting. Now Emrys really did feel insulted. He was dressed in, okay not royal clothes, but he didn't look like a commoner.

"Does that line usually work?" Merlin asked. The man sighed but backed down and shrugged. He seemed to take rejection remarkably well. "Well, maybe if you would try it on someone who isn't actually a prince. Then they wouldn't know how people normally flirt with a prince." Merlin smirked as the guy looked shocked. Those deep brown eyes were now putting the pieces together.

"If I wasn't already in a relationship, you might have even had a chance." Merlin added as he turned away. Merlin felt the man's eyes on him as he walked back into the castle. He and that man could be friends. When he saw the man again, watching him as he trained. That time they didn't speak, but he saw the urge to rise to a challenge.

Okay, so maybe Merlin flirts around a bit. He always had and no one seemed bothered by it. Merlin knew he wouldn't sleep with this man. He wouldn't let it get that far. It was only a small game of cat and mouse. Edwin was normally his torture victim and this man seemed content to take his place, so yeah, Emrys showed off a little. He was to take over the knights in a year so they needed to know what he could do in armored combat anyway. And Emrys is a mouse who had temporarily lost his cat.

But this man… the impressed look on his face every time Emrys glanced over was perfection. Emrys didn't answer the beckoning feeling towards the man at the end of practice. He knew better than that if he wanted this game to last any length of time. Two days later Emrys found that man in armor among the knights with Cenred talking to him. Emrys walked over blinking as his father spotted him. Two days of not seeing him had left Emrys a little sad that the game might be over, but he didn't expect that he would be here now. What the hell was this man doing in armor? And how did he have a right to look that good in it?

"Emrys! Meet the last person I will be solely deciding on whether or not he will become a knight! Gwaine, meet, my son, Emrys, Prince of Essetir ." King Cenred said. Merlin nodded. Gwaine beamed at him with those dark eyes, they much more mischievous than two days before. Did this man really join the army of Essetir just to play cat and mouse? Merlin was liking him more and more. He had to respect such a dedicated individual.

"So you really are the Prince." Gwaine said. Cenred looked surprised. Merlin grinned and nodded with a chuckle. If the man wanted to play openly, so be it. Emrys knew the man, Gwaine, was out of his depth. But he did find it endearing that he thought he wasn't.

"Let's just hope you are better at fighting than you are at flirting." Emrys shot at him and he heard some of the knights scoff. Gwaine placed a hand on his heart, faking pain. Emrys saw the wicked grin that laid beneath the over exaggerated pained expression. He saw it right in Gwaine's eyes. He wasn't dropping on flirting this early on would he?

"You wound me, that's twice now. Maybe I should just pray that your sword is as large as your ego." Gwaine said. The only one that didn't seem to catch the double meaning was his father. Maybe Gwaine hadn't given up on flirting. Emrys felt a deliciously wicked feeling rise in him as he remembered he would have to test how good Gwaine could fight.


	3. Sword Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not the kinky kind but it might as well be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story starts to get narratively bulky and a little out of control but this is part of my learning process.

"Emrys, I will leave you to training the knights." Cenred said with a huff that may have meant he wasn't as blind to the flirting as he seemed. Merlin nodded and Cenred walked away. Merlin walked toward about the center of the training field. Now for the part Emrys liked the best.

"Get a sword." Merlin said. Gwaine looked shocked but one of the knights held out their own sword. "Come on." Merlin urged. Gwaine pulled his own sword and walked a little closer and got into a position. Gwaine swiped his sword from the left at Merlin ducked and stood up fast enough to but Gwaine with the hilt of his own sword before Gwaine could recover. Gwaine swung again but this time Emrys simply blocked it with his blade and shoved Gwaine back.

Gwaine went for a jab and the fight seemed to actually start. Emrys realized they had been doing the same thing. Gauging the other. Almost every time Gwaine swung Emrys met it with his own blade. When Emrys didn't he was ducking or jumping. When the fight ended with Merlin's blade against Gwaine's throat they were both breathing heavily. Gwaine was worse off than Emrys, a bruise along his jaw was forming. Merlin felt the rush of power as Gwaine realised his own defeat. Emrys never wanted to get over that feeling. That wickedly beautiful feeling.

"You are both the most beautiful and terrifying person I have ever met." Gwaine whispered. Merlin only felt his satisfaction grow. Emrys could get used to this man calling him beautiful. He didn't let it show that it still caught him off guard a little, that would ruin the tension. And, oh, did he love tension. Merlin pulled his sword back and sheathed it.

"You should see me with a set of daggers. I'm much better with those." Merlin said. Gwaine put his sword away and Merlin nodded at his box of knives. One of the knights moved it to his feet and another grabbed a dummy and moved in a hundred paces out. Merlin picked up three daggers. As soon as he started his first spin the knights stepped back. By the end of his second spin Merlin not only had three head shots but was nose to nose with Gwaine. Gwaine was clearly in shock. Maybe Emrys was more of the cat than the mouse, but Gwaine didn't have to know that yet. He loved that for the moment he didn't move away, it looked like Gwaine wasn't breathing.

Merlin winked and began the normal training session. Gwaine joined when he finally shook off his shock. Merlin was exceptionally graceful with knives. It was the closest thing to feeling like wielding magic that was man-made. By the end of the training Merlin felt… off. The air felt different. It felt foul, like hours after a large battle. Before all of the bodies had been picked up, but some were already being burned. Merlin couldn't pinpoint why he felt that way. Gwaine seemed to notice the second the flirting stopped. But he couldn't be bothered to explain. Emrys was startled by the carrier pigeon that flew directly to him. 

"Session is over." Emrys said as he held his arm out for the bird to land. At first, he didn't know who could have sent it. Merlin took the message and opened it, the knights watching him. Gwaine looked worried. It was almost sundown so he turned to the knights with a pointed look. All but Gwaine finally started leaving. Emrys rolled his eyes at Gwaine's concerned look and returned his attention back to the letter with a forced smirk.

"My Dearest Emrys,

I have failed both you and Cenred. A servant walked in on me doing magic. I was discovered before I could even gain trust. By the time this finds you, I will be burned like my mother and father. Know that I am sorry and that I had tried my best.

Edwin." Merlin read in his head. He knew better than to let out the screams that erupted in his mind. Or to let the tears in his heart spill out, at least in front of his knights. They weren't even done gathering the weapons back up. Emrys took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut. He needed to tell his father. But he couldn't with this emotion. No, he would go off in his father's face that would only lead to more pain, but he almost craved it right now.

Emrys placed the note in his pocket and drew his sword. The knights all paused, seeming to feel the emotions bubbling in him. He walked over to a dummy and stared at it for a moment. He picture the dummy in front of him being Uther Pendragon and let his rage forced the blade through the center of its chest. It went to the hilt in one swift motion. Emrys took two steps back and slammed his foot into the dummy's chest, hearing a satisfying crack of the wood as it cracked apart and fell. His face was stone blank. Maybe that's why the knights looked so terrified of him. His magic lashed out as well and heavy clouds began rolling in as he marched to his father.

"Edwin is dead." Merlin said the second he had a moment alone with his father. Cenred paused. It felt like there was nothing but pain in his soul as his father nodded and then walked away. Emrys went into his room and slammed the door behind him. He knew better than to let Cenred see him like this. His father's lack of care had only made his pain feel worse. Emrys closed his eyes as the tears broke free. He slumped on to his bed. Six years ago he met Edwin and now he was gone. Just like that. He felt his chest tighten as his heart ached. He wouldn't even get to bury him. Merlin's head snapped up as the door opened. Gwaine stepped through with his sword. Gwaine didn't look surprised to see him crying. Merlin wanted to yell and scream at him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Gwaine asked. Merlin didn't understand why he felt the need to lash out. Gwaine asked a perfectly harmless question. In fact, he should have been comforted by his care, but for some reason Gwaine might as well have told him to stop crying and act like a man. Merlin felt rage surge up through the pain as if to shield him from showing Gwaine any of it.

"Who the hell do you think you are to just barge in here? Does it look like I need your help? Or your sympathy? I could have you arrested!" Emrys spat with anger and a very particular kind of pain that spread like an infection as he stood up. He wanted to attack Gwaine. He was ready for combat, he wanted to fight something. Gwaine acted like Emrys had said something completely different. Like Emrys hadn't just threatened him. Like Emrys, instead had cried out for help or whimpered in pain. Gwaine's own eyes looked like they filled with painful understanding.

"Emrys, it's okay. Take a deep breath. If you don't want to tell me, that's fine. Is there anyway that I can help?" Gwaine asked. Merlin physically jerked back at Gwaine's words. They had burned. Why couldn't Gwaine hurt him back? Why couldn't Gwaine give him something to fight? He felt the fake ego and the mask crumble. Edwin had been the only person that had seen through it, until now. He was used to his emotions being shoved away and treated as if they were an inconvenience. Emrys collapsed to his knees and felt the sobs flow freely. He couldn't stop it, the second Edwin had crossed his mind so blatantly, pain nearly engulfed him again.

"He's dead. He left. I told him not to go. I told him to stay! Now he's dead." Emrys whimpered. Gwaine looked shocked but sat down beside him. Emrys let the pain consume him for a moment. He wanted to shove the emotion away right then but he couldn't. He knew he had to feel it for a moment. Even if he had to shove it away later. "I don't know what to do. We- I haven't been without him for more than a week in six years. I-... he knew everything about me. I don't know what to do." Merlin said after his cries died down. Merlin's head was on Gwaine's shoulder. Gwaine took a deep breath. Gwaine seemed to be completely fine with listening.

"You are going to sleep tonight. You are going to wake up tomorrow, and you are going to hurt worse than right now. Then you'll go about your princely business and come back here and sleep. You'll do that every day until you don't feel like you'll die when you think about the future. Until you can breathe when you say his name. Until you don't feel like pain is the only thing you have." Gwaine said like it was fact. Emrys closed his eyes and shook his head. That all seemed so far away.

"Why?" Merlin asked. Gwaine took a deep breath and pulled Emrys to his feet as he stood up. Gwaine just shrugged before he helped Merlin wash his face. Gwaine gave him a grave look.

"Because, the only other option is dying, and dying only causes more pain. Because your life meant something to him and you can't just throw that away. Because it's the only thing you can do." Gwaine said as he seemed to have trouble speaking around a lump in his throat. Emrys nodded. Gwaine seemed like he already knew what was going on. Emrys was wondering who Gwaine had lost as he sat down at the table. Gwaine stood beside him, like he was wanting to help him any way he could. Right as Merlin was about to say something else Cenred stormed in. Emrys flinched. A knight must have told him.

"You lost your temper in front of your knights?!" King Cenred snapped. Gwaine didn't move as Cenred ripped Emrys to his feet and slapped him in the back of his head. "You are meant to be a King some day! You can't lose your temper anymore! One moment you seem like you'll be a great king and the next you're nothing but peasant! You will receive your punishment in the morning." Cenred growled and stormed out. Emrys stood there. Emrys felt better now. Less raw. Less uncertain. He didn't expect the expression on Gwaine's face to be horror. That familiar feeling engulfed him and Emrys relaxed as his emotions ran away from him.

"Will you apologize to the knights for my behaviour, please?" Emrys asked. Gwaine did nothing but nod numbly. The punishment was ten lashes. Of course no one saw that. Cenred liked the rumors that Emrys magically corrects his behavior. His armor hurts more the following day, but Gwaine was right. He fell into a routine again. Gwaine was there to help whenever he wanted to talk, not that he ever used it. Eventually he got a little better at functioning. It was a year to the day before he knew it. The ache was there but it didn't make him feel like he was going to buckle under it. They were going to Camelot to enter into a tournament.

Emrys wore a stormy blue cloak with the Essetir 's crest of a snake on his armor. Gwaine had become his closest friend. He didn't tell Gwaine about his past, quite frankly, he never wanted it to come up again. Emrys rode beside Cenred. Merlin didn't want to do this but it was part of the plan. Merlin had entered into the jousting, archery, and melee combat. Something in Emrys had shifted since Edwin died. He only stood tall when someone that wasn't Gwaine could see him. He only looked like a prince when he was expected to be one. When he was amongst people in the lower town, in his 'lazy' clothes, well, he didn't seem like a prince at all. Gwaine was his personal guard now at the request of Emrys.

Merlin loved these long rides. They were always so beautiful. At least that's what he told his father. It was beautiful. Almost beautiful enough to make it worth it without needing a reason to ride. But he hated being on the horses' back for so long. The horse didn't seem to mind, but Emrys did. It hurt, and Emrys got bored easily. Emrys let go of the horse's reins with a click of his tongue so she knew to ignore him and follow his father's horse. He laid back, lifted his legs, pivoted on his spine, and sat up, now facing Gwaine.

"A much better view." Emrys smirked, staring right into Gwaine's eyes. Gwaine chuckled and shook his head. Emrys knew he could flirt with Gwaine and Gwaine would flirt right back, but nothing would come of it. They talked about it. Gwaine didn't want a solid relationship and Emrys didn't want just a bedshare. So they flirted when they were bored. Or when one of them felt sad and wanted attention. Emrys didn't know which one he was in that moment.

"I quite agree. That's a little bit of an improvement." Gwaine said. Merlin gasped in mock hurt. "It's not my fault, sire, that you can only improve so much on beauty before it becomes perfection." Gwaine added in a lower voice. Emrys and the guard chuckled as Emrys turned back around. Cenred shook his head.

"Please, from here until we reach their gates, can I have some peace and quiet?" Cenred huffed. Emrys didn't know why Cenred had four guards while Merlin had one. Maybe because Cenred had brought his servant and Emrys didn't have one? Who knows, honestly, what goes on in his King's mind. Emrys hated silence but his King had asked for it. Well, ordered it, but… it was the same thing when it came to Cenred. When they stopped for the night Merlin was surprised. He tried to keep his thoughts from Edwin as they set up the King's tent.

Emrys couldn't help it when he had gotten more firewood than they could possibly need. He had run out of things to do. He plopped down by the fire. If Edwin had to camp then he would have had to have been discovered within hours of entering Camelot. What if they had someone who could just tell? Would Merlin end up like Edwin? What had been his finally thoughts? Had they been of Merlin? Would his thoughts be of Edwin? He felt the darkness in his mind as he stared into the flames trying to make sense of it all. Just as he felt he was about to be taken by the darkness Gwaine poked him with a stick. Emrys gave him a look. Gwaine grinned, standing above him. He went to poke Emrys again. Emrys grabbed the stick before yanking it. He smiled as Gwaine landed in his lap. Gwaine gave him an odd look in return.

"I feel bad for whoever you fall for, that look is the same look you give while flirting and when you fight with me. They'll have a sword to their throat and not even know you're asking for a date. Or maybe that is the first date. Nothing like going to the hilt through your partner to set the mood." Gwaine teased. Emrys wiggled his eyebrows and they both laughed. Gwaine could somehow always pull him through the dark. He couldn't chase the dark away, but he could always point Emrys in the right direction. He ate with them instead of his father. The knights always enjoyed his company. He felt more like himself there. The ride in the morning made him more tense. He had even stopped responding to Gwaine's taunts. Emrys didn't go with his father in the greeting party. He took his horse straight to the stables. Gwaine knew to give him a little space.

He was brushing down the horse when the Prince of Camelot came in. He was letting himself hunch over, glad not to have to stand tall when he didn't feel like it. Hunith never judged him for wanting to be relaxed. He knew it was the Prince of Camelot because of the crown on his head, but Merlin didn't look at him for very long. He didn't care about him.

"This is Prince Emrys' horse?" The man asked. Merlin ignored him as he gazed at the tall black beauty. Her name Hunith, after his mother. He loved his horse more than anyone else because she always seemed to understand him. "I was told he didn't have a servant." Arthur said. Merlin took a deep breath and shook his head. Conversation with Arthur seemed unavoidable, he was just as persistent as he was when they met.

"No, only Cenred brought a servant, my lord." Emrys said, reluctantly responding to Arthur. Arthur nodded, he seemed to feel out of place, like he was dancing around a question. Arthur was trying to act like he didn't know who he was and Emrys was finding it a little annoying.

"Why are you dressed like a knight? I greeted all the knights." Arthur pointed out, Merlin sighed deeply. Then he paused, Arthur sounded serious. He actually didn't know who he was? Really? "Are you his… consort?" Arthur asked. Emrys gasped and looked at Arthur. This man dared to imply he had brought a consort to this kingdom? Then Merlin froze as he really looked at him. Prince Arthur had always been described as handsome but that seemed to be understatement.

"My lord-" Sir Gwaine started as he came in, knocking Emrys back into his offended stance. Oh, Emrys was going to have some fun with Arthur. He could feel it. He wasn't going to let Arthur go so quickly and he was going to enjoy the squirming.

"How dare you? I am a prince! A consort?! Me? Do I look like a consort?! I came to fight not to be belittled by a prince that I bested at nine!" Merlin exploded. Arthur looked surprised. So it had been an honest mistake. How boring. Emrys huffed and flicked his cloak as he stormed out. Gwaine followed him, watching Merlin as a smirk grew on his face. Gwaine looked shocked as it all clicked into place in his head.


	4. How Not To Save A King

"Emrys, he's a prince! Why him!" Gwaine whined as he followed Emrys. Merlin forced the smile off his face and made himself look angry as he shook his head. Would he look intensely angry or annoyed if he had actually been insulted? A little bit of both? Yeah, Emrys liked a little of both.

"No idea what you are talking about." Merlin said. Gwaine showed him to his chambers. He closed the door and turned to a clearly fake-angry Emrys. Gwaine looked exasperated. Emrys was now even more excited for his battle with Arthur.

"You're going to fight him, you do know that?" Gwaine said. Emrys couldn't fight the grin now. He bounced on his heels in excitement. Gods, he loved this, he was making plans to knock off Arthur's helmet and his own so that they could stare into each other's eyes as he defeated him. There was that yummy wicked feeling creeping up his spine and flashing in his eyes.

"I know." Emrys grinned. Gwaine stared at him, taken back and then it clicked. Emrys could have sworn he heard it. Gwaine broke into a grin as well as he shook his head. Maybe Emrys would play nice with him? Just a little? No, because where is the fun in that? He was going to bend Arthur's mind until Arthur pinned him against a wall. Preferably not in his armor, nor with anger or rage in his eyes.

"That poor sod." Gwaine chuckled. Emrys began taking his armor off so he could meet King Uther again. He changed into a blue outfit and placed his black and blue jeweled crown on. Emrys stared at himself for a moment. Not enough if he was really going to hammer Arthur with everything he had.

"Are my things here?" Merlin asked. Gwaine nodded and placed his bags on his bed. Merlin put his things away and pulled out some of his makeup. Gwaine sighed and shook his head when Merlin finished. He could tell Emrys was going to make Arthur go crazy, and honestly? It was about time for Arthur to lose his head over someone.

"Prince Arthur doesn't stand a chance." Gwaine said. Emrys smiled devilishly. He had highlighted his cheekbones and lips. Small enough that Cenred wouldn't notice, but big enough that Arthur certainly would. Even Gwaine was having trouble not staring at his lips. Emrys walked over to his door and opened it. Cenred was right there with Uther and Arthur.

"My apologies, my lords, I had an issue with the knights to attend to." Merlin covered quickly. He stepped out with Gwaine at his side. He flashed an innocent look to Uther and Arthur. "I am Prince Emrys of Essetir , my lords." Emrys said to Uther and Arthur. Arthur looked taken aback, and he was definitely staring.

"Do you have a twin?" Arthur asked. Arthur was openly gazing at his face. Emrys smirked and pretended to think for a moment before shaking his head. Pressing his lips together to seem slightly wounded.

"Not anymore, my lord, my brother died while we were young." Emrys said. That was the story as to why no one had heard of Emrys until seven years ago. It was times like these that Merlin missed Edwin the most. He didn't have to lie to Edwin. The grief turned real on his face and he felt darkness creeping up on him. Cenred clapped him on the shoulder snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Apologies, Uther, it still affects my son greatly." King Cenred said. Arthur looked regretful and Uther was glaring at Arthur. Emrys forced a smile on his face. Cenred glared at him and Emrys wanted to punch himself. He was going to get it tonight. Gwaine winced for him. Uther led them throughout the castle. Gwaine had stopped when the training field came into view. Merlin stopped to make it seem like Gwaine was waiting on him. There was a big man that Gwaine was staring at. Emrys smirked. Gwaine had his own target now. Uther's laugh snapped him out of staring. 

"Just as obsessed with training as when we met. Perhaps I should arrange for you to train with the knights here." Uther said. Emrys beamed like it was the best thing in the world and Cenred looked proud. Arthur glared at the floor. Nothing else had happened on the tour. He signed his agreement to be in the tournament and that was it. Arthur stopped really looking at him and that made him want to pout. But that would have cut tension and shown his hand.

When Merlin got to his room again he stripped his shirt off and waited. It was fifteen this time. He knew better than to flinch or whimper. Cenred wanted a strong leader. So he hadn't flinched this time either. Emrys couldn't move for a few minutes, after it was over, for fear that he would scream. He heard a gasp that he didn't recognize and he spun. He saw a woman. He was ready to yell at her. To yell how dare she not knock but the words died in his throat. She rushed out. Emrys squeezed his eyes shut and let his head fall. He took a deep breathe and braced himself on the mantle for his father to come back in. Gwaine came in.

"Someone is coming." Gwaine said before helping him force his body back into clothes. Merlin sat with his back straight so it wasn't touching anything. He pretended to be reading a scroll he had read a thousand times when there was a knock on his door. He expected it to be Arthur.

"Come in!" Emrys called glad to have had seven years of training for this. An… old man came in. Emrys stood up and he bowed out of respect. They must need him or have a message. Either way, he was ready for it.

"I am Gaius, the court physician. I was informed that you were injured." The man said, holding up a pouch. Emrys nearly flinched. His father would kill him and normal people wouldn't understand that the punishments for royalty were worse because their grievances meant more. He felt irritated, he wanted them to leave.

"You were informed wrong, my apologies." Emrys said, a little harsher than he wanted, but he didn't regret it. These people were not to be trusted. They would tell his father and that would only cause pain or worse. Gwaine looked down like he wanted to say something. Gaius raised an eyebrow. Emrys stood tall but it was beginning to feel like his back was being split wider. Emrys finally buckled under the pain just as Giaus had began to turn. The old man stepped forward and rage slammed into Emrys. "Get him out of here! Tell no one, old man!" Emrys snapped. Gwaine winced and guided the man out. Emrys, with the returned help of Gwaine, carefully removed his shirt. Emrys slumped into his seat.

"People cannot help you if you don't let them." Gwaine said. Emrys scoffed darkly as he squeezed his fists against the pain. He didn't need what they thought was help, he knew better. He just wished Gwaine would know better too. Why couldn't Gwaine just trust him on this?

"Let that man help me so that he can go tell Uther or Arthur? Or even worse Cenred? All just to earn myself ten more lashings? If not twenty for making a fool of myself? A king must be strong. A king must be willing to bare scars for his actions." Emrys pointed out. It was hard enough not to tell Gwaine about it. Let alone having to explain it to two other people. Why couldn't Gwaine see?

"You talk like you earned these lashes, Emrys." Gwaine all but growled. Emrys couldn't believe him. Gwaine was daring him to tell him he did. Emrys was always up for a challenge. Gwaine was just proving how little he understood royalty and why he shouldn't tell those other two about any of this.

"I did. I lost face twice. I should have gotten more! I lost face yesterday! I keep losing focus on the mission!" Emrys blurted out. Gwaine looked surprised. Emrys knew why. No one knew this was a mission. "The mission is, when I win, I kill the lead champion, which is Uther, when he comes to greet me. Then Cenred hands me over to Arthur and flees home. Once he is there, during my trial we attack Camelot." Merlin said. Gwaine looked horrified. Emrys looked down. He knew everything Gwaine was about to say. He had expressed them to Cenred and had gotten to hang by his wrists for two hours for his trouble.

"You can't-" Gwaine started. But Emrys cut him off with a sharp look. Emrys hated that Gwaine was acting like he had a choice in any of this. Only proving that Gwaine understood nothing about any of this and proving the Emrys he had been right in not telling him sooner.

"These are my orders! I was given them! I do not like them anymore than you but what King Cenred says goes." Emrys said letting the pain seep into his voice, begging Gwaine to understand. Gwaine placed a hand on Emrys' cheek. Emrys had almost flinched away. Gwaine had seemed nothing but kind, a luxury that Emrys could not afford, but he almost wanted to be anyway.

"Arthur would kill you on the spot. It would tare him to shreds! This isn't right!" Gwaine said. Emrys hugged his best friend just as tears threatened to spill over. He knew all of this. But it didn't change the fact that he had no choice. Cenred… the things that Cenred would do to him if he failed or openly defied him. Gwaine could never understand because Emrys could never voice an explanation without needing to send Gwaine away.

"I don't have a choice." Emrys whispered. Gwaine took a step back and Emrys looked at him trying to shove his pain down. Gwaine blinked like he was hurting. Emrys furrowed his brow in worry. Had Emrys hurt him? He hadn't said anything hurtful. He didn't want to hurt his only friend, he needed him. Gwaine was his rock, his constant presence, the one thing that Emrys could cling to when he needed solid.

"I should have told you the second I found out you were nothing like your father. I'm sorry. I was sent to Essetir… to watch your every move. To report any and all plots…" Gwaine started. Emrys took a step away from him. Gwaine… no. Gwaine lied to him, Gwaine was a spy. "To report them here. I am a knight of Camelot." Gwaine said. Gwaine was a spy for the very people that destroyed his life.

Emrys felt like he had been shot in the chest with an arrow. But that didn't matter in this moment. Not after another realization hit Emrys. Gwaine would be in danger if he went back to Essetir . No, Merlin wouldn't let that happen. Gwaine was his friend, he would not see him hurt. He refused. He let his face turn to stone so he wouldn't let the betrayal effect him. Emrys put his shirt on and picked up his sword. Gwaine looked hurt but let his head fall. Emrys flat bladed the wall hard enough to break the sword. Gwaine's head snapped up and he looked confused. Emrys opened his window and grabbed a bag and tossed it out the window.

"You can't go back to Essetir ." Emrys said. Gwaine went to speak but Emrys was four steps ahead of him. "No! You betrayed me and it hurts but that's not the point. If you go back and Cenred finds out, you will die! I will not watch you die. I know what Cenred is doing is wrong but I can't stop him yet. I need to overrule him first." Emrys said. He felt his mind drift. "Despite everything Uther has taken from me, I do not kill him out of hate or want. I don't-" Emrys stopped himself he had no choice in any of his life. But he could never make Gwaine see that. That would only cause more pain and Emrys felt there was already enough pain.

"What has Uther taken from you? He has yet to have wronged-" Gwaine started. Emrys couldn't hold back the snap. He couldn't bite his tongue before it lashed out. Emrys felt he was at his braking point.

"My mother was in Ealdor when he burned it to the ground! I had friends in Ealdor! He killed the man I loved! He took everything that ever my life bearable! And if he had the chance I know he would kill me too!" Merlin choked out. Merlin tried to fight his emotions down like he had since Cenred got a hold of him. All the pain in the past seven years cascaded from his eyes and onto his face. Emrys threw his crown. Rage and pain were taking over, the pain of his back wasn't fighting his emotions for him anymore.

"I WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE HERE IF HE DIDN'T ATTACK EALDOR!" Merlin snapped as the crown clattered against the wall. He felt his magic wanting to explode out of him. No, not here. Hold it until the forest. Merlin stormed out, Gwaine didn't dare try to follow him. It was night but Merlin still ran to the stables. He grabbed his saddle and paused when he saw Arthur in the doorway. His magic bristled against his skin but seemingly began to calm. Tears were still flowing down his face. He wasn't a prince. He never would be. He didn't belong here, he no longer belonged anywhere.

"Gwaine told me you know. And that you wanted him out of Essetir . And that you plan to kill my father." Arthur said drawing his sword. Emrys didn't want to deal with this. He sat the saddle on his horse. He felt like he almost didn't have the strength. He closed his eyes and pulled out his daggers. Arthur took a step forward and Merlin raised his daggers and threw them before Arthur could take another step. Both the daggers pinned his sword to the doorway. Arthur looked at his sword. Merlin was across the room with his hand around Arthur's throat before Arthur knew he moved. Merlin felt the same feeling he felt when his sword had been to Arthur's throat all those years ago. And then he felt a surge of power and wicked pride take over through his other emotions.

"I don't want to. But I don't have a choice. You know your father won't hear your protests to me fighting. He'll think you're scared to fight me. Give me another choice one where I don't die and your father won't die by my hand." Merlin said softly. Arthur looked shocked. Whether it was the tears on his face or that Merlin was allowing him to breathe, Merlin couldn't tell. The hand on his throat was a reminder as to who had who's life in their hands.

"We can come up with something. A way for you to throw the match. Then you won't get a chance to kill Uther." Arthur said. There wasn't terror in his eyes like many other people he faced. If there was it wasn't consuming him. It intrigued Emrys because Arthur wasn't begging for his life. That means… maybe… just maybe he didn't see a monster when he looked at Emrys. Merlin felt the emotion bubbling up again as he let his hand fall. No. Not in front of some prat that would kill him if he had the chance.

"Punch me." Merlin said. Arthu gave him a weird look. "Punch me right now or I'm going to drive that dagger through your heart." Emrys said nodding at daggers pinning Arthur's sword to the wall. Arthur didn't move until Merlin reached for a dagger. Merlin felt pain explode in his face and the tears slammed away from him. Merlin pulled his daggers into their sheaths on his belt. Arthur was still looking at him funny. "I didn't know you would go for my face." Emrys said after a moment. He'll have to deal with the repercussions of the bruise in the morning.

"Meet me after tomorrow's rounds, here, with your people's plan. If it is viable, I will let your father live." Emrys said. Arthur nodded, still confused. Emrys went back to his chambers the magic seemed soothed. All his life he fought his magic. It was like a leech. It always tried to drain him. Gwaine was nowhere to be found. It looks like throwing him out of Essetir wouldn't be an option tonight. He snapped and his sword was perfectly fine again, the bag was back in its place, and his crown was neatly on the table. It wasn't Uther's fault that he came after Merlin. It was his magic's fault.

If it didn't live in him, if he could cast it out, his mother would have never died and he would be at peace in Ealdor. Probably a farmer. He would love to be a farmer. With goats and crops. Emrys chuckled at himself. No, he'd probably screw that up too. A rubbish farmer, but at least he wouldn't be pretending to be a prince. Gods, he hated being a prince. He should have never agreed to be the King's ward. Emrys closed his eyes and let sleep take him.

"Merlin, you can't go back! He'll kill you!" Arthur said, gripping his sword arm. Merlin felt his head drop as he shook his head. Arthur looked angry, scared, hurt, and lost as Merlin raised his head again.

"But if I don't he'll find you." Merlin said. Arthur gripped his arm harder. Merlin surged forward and kissed him. Arthur's grip loosened in surprise. Merlin felt a tear fall as he pulled back. "Get me back." Merlin whisper against his lips before cutting across Arthur's stomach as he ran towards the entrance.

Merlin woke up with the yells of his true name echoing in his head. Calling after him, begging for him to come back. The sun was just coming up. The woman from before gasped as he bolted standing. She looked rattled. Merlin wiped the tear off his face as he came back to the world around him.

"I am Guinevere. I… I came to wake up and get you ready." She said shaking. Merlin closed his eyes and nodded, steadying himself. He stood up and pulled out his clothes. The dream had felt so real but he shoved it away from his mind. He didn't have the luxury of dwelling on it. He had to focus on not letting Cenred on to Gwaine or himself. Or Arthur. He opened his eyes and she was still there.

"Thank you, Guinevere." Emrys said as he went behind the changing blind. Merlin came out from behind the blind dressed and began putting on his armor. Merlin closed his eyes, she was still standing there. He turned to her. He forced himself not to let his frustration show through. "Is there anything you need?" Emrys asked. She glanced around the room and took a step closer. Emrys stopped moving and he went on high alert.

"Prince Arthur told me to tell you that he needs to talk to you." Guinevere said. Emrys sighed and nearly sagged over. Arthur is terrible at secret plans. Broad daylight before the fights? This was going to be a disaster. Emrys nodded and turned towards her. Then he gestured for her to lead the way. She looked shifty all the way to Arthur's room. Gwaine was in there. Emrys blinked hard at seeing Gaius, Arthur, Gwaine, the tall man from the training yard that gwaine had stared at, a girl with black hair, and all of them were in flashy clothes. The damage had already been done. Oh, well. Gwaine was glaring at him.

**Author's Note:**

> This is just the start. I hope you had a good time reading, please kudo or comment, I am working on writing and I could use the help!


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